slipped away
by bravevulnerability
Summary: 'She missed this. The effortless banter, the smiling, him. Never had she imagined how empty her life would become without him.' One shot. A post ep of sorts for 4x07. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Set in season 4. Post 4x07 (Cops and Robbers)**

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He had asked her to meet him at their swings.

She was already close by, just off from a shift at the station, and he smiled when he saw her making her way towards him from the sidewalk.

"Hey love,"

She grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held tightly, needing to savor every moment of his presence, every second of his body pressed against hers. Castle hugged her back, his long arms wrapping securely around her waist. She bit the bottom of her trembling lip to stop the tears.

"Kate." he murmured her name after she remained there too long, silent with her face buried in the warmth of his neck, listening to the resounding beat of his heart travel through his frame.

"Don't cry, love."

She failed to contain the quiet whimper she released into his skin and he stroked her hair soothingly, like he did every time she ended up losing her composure in his arms.

"It's been a while," she whispered, reluctantly pulling away from him and wiping at her eyes. "I was afraid I wouldn't see you again."

"Wouldn't leave you, Kate," he assured her with a soft smile, lifting a hand to cup her jaw, sweeping his thumb along her cheekbone and collecting the stray streak of moisture staining her skin. "Sit with me a bit?"

She nodded and followed him to the swing set, tangling her fingers with his even as they sat down and their arms were forced to stretch.

"How are you?"

She swayed gently on the swing and shrugged.

"Not great."

"I'm sorry, Kate. Truly-"

"It's not your fault," she said automatically, squeezing his hand. "I just wish you would come back."

"I want to."

"I know."

"I _will_." he emphasized, like he always did, but she lowered her gaze.

"I'm so sorry, Castle."

"Please don't," he said immediately, tugging her swing closer by the metal of the chain holding her up. "You did everything you could that day. You still got the guy right? The one with the stupid name?"

"Trapper John?" she chuckled, but it was a hollow sound. "Yeah, I rushed in and took him down myself."

"Like the hellcat you are," he smirked proudly and she huffed, but felt her lips quirk.

She missed this. The effortless banter, the smiling, _him_. Never had she imagined how empty her life would become without him.

"Rick?" she uttered, and he looked over to her helplessly, already knowing what she was going to ask. What she always asked every time they met this way. "When are you going to wake up?"

Castle sighed, swept his thumb over her knuckles wistfully, and pulled her swing closer until their foreheads could touch. "Soon, I hope. Soon, Kate."

She jerked awake at the light squeeze of pressure on her shoulder.

"Kate, did you stay here overnight again?" Alexis asked, her eyebrows knit in concern as she hovered over her.

Beckett sighed and straightened up in the uncomfortable chair at his bedside.

"Lost track of time." she sighed the excuse, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and glancing forlornly at her still sleeping partner in the hospital bed.

She hated when she had those types of dreams; the ones that felt so real, as if she were actually seeing him, talking with him. As if she had him back.

Dream Castle was great, but she would always prefer the real thing.

"He'll wake up, Kate," Alexis said encouragingly. "The doctors have been saying a lot of positive things and it's only been a few days. Don't worry."

It still tended to surprise Kate how supportive Alexis could be towards her, how she had shifted from looking to Kate with blame to looking to Kate with understanding and sometimes for consolation. It had taken a few hours spent together, some tears and eventually some talking through the long stay in the waiting room, but the bitterness no longer lingered so strongly between them. Kate liked to believe it had begun to dissolve the moment the most important man in their lives was shot inside that bank.

"I know," Kate murmured, but there was no hope in her voice.

Of course she would never let go of the chance that he would open his eyes again - "it could be any time now", the doctors kept insisting - she just no longer had the energy to project it.

"You want me to bring you some breakfast? Grams is coming by soon, we could all have it together here with Dad."

Kate forced a smile for Alexis, knowing the girl was trying her hardest to keep her spirits up, to be as positive as she could manage.

"Sure, that sounds great."

His daughter smiled back and after a hesitant, but longing glance at her father, she was trotting out of his hospital room.

Kate waited until she was gone to drop her head back to the resting place of Castle's arm. Threading her fingers through his limp hand, she stayed quiet, listening to the steady sound of his heart monitor.

"You have to wake up," she whispered, squeezing his fingers lightly. "I have so much to tell you, so much... so much to confess."

She swallowed back the threat of tears because Alexis would be back soon and she couldn't let his daughter see her cry more than she already had. "I know I say this everyday now, but I love you, and I need to say it when you're awake."

Kate sighed to herself. Sometimes it felt pointless to talk to him when she knew it was unlikely he could hear her, but it had become a habit over the last week, along with sleeping in a plastic chair.

She heard the voices of Alexis and Martha echoing in the hallway outside and lifted her head, lifted his hand for a brief kiss to his knuckles.

She swore she felt his hand twitch under her lips.

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**A/N: Thank you so much if you took the time to read this unplanned little one shot. I know it's short and not great, but I cast all of the blame for it upon a video I accidentally found last night (youtube dot com slash watch?v=JNQ2pGTjYyk)**

**Feedback is always welcome and greatly appreciated.**

**tumblr: bravevulnerability **

**twitter: onlythebattles**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I adamantly told myself I would not continue this story... but persuasion is a powerful thing. I sincerely hope this pleases those who asked for more. **

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"Mr. Castle, how many times do I have to tell you to stop cajoling Detective Beckett into bed with you?"

Castle had the decency to blush at Angie's question, but he wouldn't apologize for it. Kate had refused to leave the hospital ever since he had woken up and he wasn't going to let her sleep in a plastic chair at his bedside. According to Alexis, she had done enough of that while he had been asleep. So he had become skilled in the art of talking her into resting beside him each night in his hospital bed. It was tight with the two of them crammed in the slim cot, but he didn't mind. Not at all.

"But she fits so well," he reasoned with a grin, glancing down at the woman curled into his good side and combing his fingers through her hair. She did fit well against him. Her body curved so naturally into his, so perfect and puzzle-like in the way she filled the empty space.

He always managed to convince Angie – his usual nurse, who reminded him too much of a certain sassy medical examiner who stopped by to bring Kate a fresh pairs of clothes every day – to leave them be in the night when she would walk by his room and see the two of them sharing the one-person bed. She would glare at him from the doorway and he would argue in a hushed tone that he slept so much better with the light pressure of Kate's head on his uninjured shoulder and the warm weight of her arm wrapped low around his waist. And he needed his rest to recover, right? As long as she kept from jostling his healing right shoulder, there was no harm in allowing Kate to sleep with him. Eventually, Angie would concede to that, or just give up with a scowl directed at him since he knew she had a soft spot for Kate and wouldn't dream of waking her to force her into a chair.

"I don't care if she's the literal yin to your yang, Mr. Castle, I told you, it's against policy. What are you going to do when Nurse Stacy comes in here and sees you two cuddling like that?"

"Hopefully sweet talk my way out of trouble with my irresistible charm and rugged good looks?"

Kate huffed a laugh against his collarbone and he smiled down at her as he realized she was awake.

"Sorry, Ang. Bad habit, I know." Kate yawned, slowly lifting from her side of his narrow hospital bed, being careful not to jostle any of the medical equipment surrounding or attached to him.

"Well, from now on, you can continue this habit outside of the hospital," Angie announced with a small smirk. "Congratulations, Mr. Castle. You get discharged today."

"Finally," he huffed dramatically, causing Angie to flick his ear as she passed. "Shall we continue this habit tonight at my place, Detective Beckett?" he said with a leer on her still sitting figure and she playfully swatted his thigh.

"If you can behave." she muttered, waiting until Angie was already making her way out of the room to lean forward and capture his mouth in a good morning kiss.

Castle lifted his hand to cup her jaw, kept her from pulling back as he traced the seam of her lips with his tongue. She opened for him on a soft sigh, allowing him to leisurely explore the sweet expanse of her mouth while her body slowly returned to its resting place beside him.

Making out with Kate Beckett in a hospital bed had easily become his favorite form of physical therapy.

She had been the first thing he saw when he had awoken from a three day coma, her glittering eyes staring back at him with so much hope and love - he couldn't let himself fall back into the dark clutches of sleep.

The doctors had forced her away, keeping her and his daughter on the sidelines while they checked his vitals and asked him questions about his name, the date, what he remembered last. But once they were gone, he had his mother and daughter holding each of his hands and his…his Kate watching him so fondly from over his daughter's shoulder.

She had kissed him that night, while his mother and Alexis had taken a quick break to run to the cafeteria for dinner. She had kissed him softly, a gentle brush of her perfect mouth over his chapped lips. His heart monitor had stuttered and sped up and she had laughed for what he assumed was the first time in days.

Now, four days later, she kissed him regularly, as if they had been sharing kisses for years like they should have, even when his family was in the room. And Alexis, shockingly, seemed pleased about it. Beaming at him every time Kate was near. He was still unsure what exactly had gone on in the real world while he had been in his own personal form of limbo – neither volunteered to do any explaining – but whatever rift that had been between Kate and Alexis had been seamlessly smoothed over.

When he had tried asking his daughter in one of the rare moments Kate was out of the room if she was approving of this blossoming thing between him and the detective finally happening, she had smiled coyly and lifted happy blue eyes to him.

"She loves you. I see that now."

It was all she had said and all she would say and he found it was enough. Apparently, this particular brush with death had brought a lot of good with it.

It was all so good, he sometimes wondered if he was still dreaming.

"Mm, can you say it again?"

Kate's lips curled upwards and she let their noses bump as she pulled back just enough to meet his eyes.

"I love you," she murmured, caressing his cheek with her fingers as his own smile grew to match hers.

She said that now too. She'd said it to him that first night she had spent in his hospital bed, whispered it into his neck before they could both succumb to the calls of sleep. She had admitted some things as well the next morning once they had some time to themselves, some truths he had been suspecting for a while now. He wasn't thrilled she had kept her knowledge of his confession in the cemetery a secret, but he couldn't be bitter either. She had apologized, she loved him back - said she had long before he had spoken the words – and his heart was bursting with too much joy to be bitter.

Kate pecked his lips once more and rose from his bed for good, strolling towards the little table near the door to nibble on the toast Alexis had brought her an hour ago while she'd still been sleeping.

"You still having the dreams?" he asked curiously.

She shrugged, looking thoughtful as she chewed. "No. I haven't been dreaming at all since you woke up."

She had told him bits and pieces about the vivid images of the two of them meeting for brief moments in her subconscious, how she had begged for him to come back. She had wondered if he'd had any types of night visions himself, but he had told her quite disappointedly that she hadn't made any types of appearances in the deep ocean of sleep he had been under. He had always imagined coma patients would have the most elaborate dreams, but he'd had none.

"I don't need dreams anymore," she informed him, downing the last of her light breakfast with a sip of water. She crossed back over to his bedside and habitually brushed back the resistant lock of hair that always fell to his forehead. A smile flickered over her lips – he swore he had seen her smile more in the last four days than he had in the last four years – and a sense of pride was glowing in the flecks of gold surrounding her pupils. "I've got the real thing."

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**_The (actual) End_**

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**_twitter: onlythebattles_**


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